Jackpot

     Los Angeles is a gamble.  What you are putting on the table is more than money though, trust me, a lot of money is thrown down in the pursuit of your dreams.  On this table, with every roll of the dice that is your future, you put a bit of your heart, soul, confidence, and happiness and wait to see if you get anything back.  A lot of people leave bankrupt.  I feel like I've had to dip in deep down to find anything to push me forward some months.  Some confidence, money, and hope has often been borrowed. 
    
     The stakes are incredibly high.  Most of us out here have decided the ultimate price is, well, everything.  We will give up everything in pursuit, and we expect it to give us everything back once we've reached this imaginary peak of our lives.  Like most casinos, the house usually wins.  Many out here leave with no more than an experience that they will never forget, and possibly a different outlook on life for the better or worse.  And the odds of striking that jackpot (which of course means being one of the elite A listers - to me it just means getting to make what I want and having the funding to do it) are as ugly as any casino.  But we come back, pulling those slots, blowing on those dice and holding our breath, and we give our everythings.

     We have to remember that when chasing our dreams we often ignore our realities.  I envy and respect anyone who has found a happy medium between those two.  Those people are the happy ones, because they were able to realize a dream and find a path that will lead them to it.  A big part of being happy is making yourself open to it.  Trust me, life will hand you things everyday that can fill your heart, you just have to give the call that it's clear to land.

     As I struggle with the balancing act, and learning to be happy with what I have, I find myself caught up in my dreams.  But what sort of writer would I be if I wasn't able to check out of reality for a bit?  The trick is appreciating all you've got when  you get back, and making sure when you do roll that dice, you've got more than enough in the bank.